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ARTICLE:
Peruvian Heartbeat
Where does any journey really begin? Last Spring several
friends asked me when I was going to Peru again and
if I would be willing to pull a trip together as they
felt called to go. As I became still with the request
in my heart a spark lit the flame of creation for that
journey. The rest of what happened was so synchronistic
that it still amazes me.
As I looked within for that still small voice, I was
guided to create the space for a fall journey. I am
an energy worker, with grids and ley lines rather than
people, so I looked for a celestial event to coordinate
with a fall Peru trip. I found a full moon eclipse at
the end of October and just felt myself there on Machu
Piccu for that experience. I also realized that we would
be in Peru over the U.S. Election Day so I planned to
be on Lake Titicaca that day. Little did I know it would
be a life-changing day for me. All of my journeys seem
to be created around celestial events that impact the
earth, ourselves and especially the grids around our
planet. With most journeys, I have a feeling right in
the beginning if they are going to manifest and I felt
strongly that this one would.
This would be my first Egypt or Peru journey without
my friend Carol who had brilliantly opened the doors
for those trips with me from l997-2002. I had feelings
about that, but I also knew I was ready to create my
own space and energy field in these two sacred places.
I knew it would be powerful for me, but I didn't realize
exactly how powerful. At the end of August, I still
did not have enough people signed up to make the journey
feasible, so I reluctantly let go and cancelled. A few
days later, I also let go of another endeavor that I
had been working on for almost two years. Within an
hour of sending an Email resigning from that project,
I had a phone call from a woman in Northern California,
asking me to please reconsider. She said there were
three friends who were really guided to take the leap
and got to Peru with us. To make a long story short,
the trip was back on and began to create itself powerfully.
Shortly after that call, I received an Email from a
famous astrologer explaining that there would be an
event he called Harmonic Concordance II occurring during
the October 27th eclipse. It turns out that this planetary
configuration creates a pentagram of five planets at
the exact time of the eclipse rebirthing the divine
feminine back into wholeness. It was to be the culmination
of the 2003 November 8 Concordance and the Venus Transit
in June. Both of those events were very powerful for
me as I energized them through my heart and consciousness
with friends and family. I realized that this trip had
more going on than any every day eclipse that happens
several times a year. I was awed by how Spirit guided
me along this pathway.
Lots of drama was created over the next two months involving
money and who was going and who wasn't. Even just a
few days before departure there were ten of us
intending to go. As it ended up, there were seven of
us and our Peruvian shaman and guide Mallku. This was
not without its difficulties and some of the issues
still linger today, one month after our return. Yet,
Spirit has a way of bringing just the right people together
for a specific purpose and we eight souls jelled down
to being the most incredibly wonderful and supportive
group I have ever traveled with. Everyone, without exception,
went through his or her own personal initiations and
growth and yet everyone formed a group heart more powerful
than I have ever witnessed.
I could go on and share a day-by- day story of such
incredible events and initiations that you would be
drawn into their magic as all of us were. There were
times when we traveled through small spaces that were
seemingly impossible to move through. We stood on a
very small precipice hundreds of feet above the ground
and spread our arms to become the condor. We became
lost in the darkness of a certain powerful cave. We
weathered rain, wind, fog and cold to be present for
the eclipse and much, much more. For those who traveled
with me and are now reading these words, please know
that this is the journey through my eyes and may not
be your experience. That is as it should be.
The most powerful experience for me on the journey happened
early on the morning of November 2, Election Day, on
the Island of Amantani on Lake Titicaca only three day
before our return home. Interestingly, I had originally
scheduled the group to be on the Island of the Sun that
day, but earlier our guide Mallku spoke to us of the
magic of Amantani known as the Island of Lovers. He
told us how people where led to the Island of the Sun
because that was promoted but the most powerful grid
in Peru was actually located on Amantani where two mountains
create a vortex of great power. On one resided the temple
of Pachu Papa (the father) and on the other the temple
of Pachu Mama (the mother) and in between the two was
the powerful ley line that integrated the male and female
energies of these two temples and yet more importantly,
of the earth. I remembered that years ago when I studied
the Flower of Life with Drunvelo, he had mentioned this
powerful ley line. Ezekiel told me it was one of only
two power grids on earth devoted to the integration
of the male and female.
An important aside here is that just before our journey,
a friend brought to my attention The Elf Transmissions
http://www.upi.cc/elf/ suggesting that it was an important
piece of my work in Peru and indeed it was. Basically
these teachings tell us that not only were we separated
from our wholeness and our knowing that we are God Creators
but we were also fragmented. Inside each of us, the
male and female are separated and the male energy is
even separated from itself. This then created a trinity
of separation that has caused duality to reign and enabled
human beings to be easily controlled. A major theme
during our journey was the integration of duality and
healing of our fragmented selves. We toned and chanted
all over Peru the Latin words, " nunc pro tunc
ab intitio" translating, " as if it never
was…to the beginning". This became very powerful
and laid a template or foundation for the collective
work we did healing our fragmented selves throughout
the journey and holding the original wisdom in our hearts
guiding us back to wholeness. Through our hearts, we
were to play a role in healing this separation and fragmentation.
And, my heart was exactly where my initiation lay. As
I awoke at 4:30 am that morning I lay in bed for a few
minutes thinking about the day ahead. Two of our travelers,
Cindy and Steve where to be married at the temple of
Pacha Mama as the lovers united in a special ceremony
to be led by our Shaman Mallku and myself. It was the
culmination of an incredibly powerful journey for all
of us. The power of this union in that sacred space
as we intoned the healing of duality was thrilling for
me.
As I stood to pull on my jeans, my heart started physically
racing very fast. This has happened to me before but
not for quite some time. It had been attributed to menopause
and hormonal imbalances. I always felt it was more significant
than that and this day it would prove to be truly so.
Sometimes I can do a Yoga breath and slow it back to
normal but not on this morning. At first I was very
frustrated but as it had never lasted too long in the
past, I was sure it would pass as we readied ourselves
to hike up the hill to the mountains above us. As we
gathered to depart 15 minutes later, there was still
no change. I told Mallku and the group what was going
on with me. Steve, the man getting married that day,
is an ER doctor in his 3D life and worked on me some
to try to slow it down but it raced on with a mind of
its own.
It was apparent to me early on that I could not make
this long hike with the group. Every twenty steps or
so I had to sit down to rest and breathe. It wasn't
really painful in itself but it limited my ability to
get enough oxygen running through my blood to energize
this activity. It felt as if I could never catch my
breath. I reluctantly told the group to continue without
me. Mallku sat for a few minutes and laid his hands
on me and told me to slowly continue, as I was able.
As I watched the group move away from me up the mountain
the tears came. I held such overwhelming sadness and
grief. I felt abandoned and alone and yet, I knew I
was moving into a powerful initiation.
Over the next two hours I would climb ten or twenty
yards and then lay down and breath, cry and feel this
experience. It was not lost on me that last January
I made a strikingly similar journey all alone on a cold
January night crawling up the hill holding onto my severely
broken leg to reach help. (http://www.heartlights.net/articles.html)
article Breaking Through Fear
I finally reached the point where there was an arch
or gateway to the temples. I had seen the group by this
archway quite a while before but they had long since
moved on. I lay down on a rock by the arch and soon
I felt a hand on my shoulder. Mallku had climbed down
to see how I was. We shared some thoughts and I cried
quite a lot. He told me I was watering Pacha Mama with
my tears. Then he told me a poignant story (He is a
powerful story teller.) about a starfish that was dying
on the beach along with many other starfish when a man
came along and threw that particular starfish back into
the sea. When another man asked why he bothered when
so many starfish were dying anyway, he replied, "For
this one it was important." He encouraged me to
go another hundred yards or so where I would come to
the ley line that separates the mother and the father
mountains and their respective temples. We both agreed
I was to be there anchoring the energy while he led
the wedding ceremony at Pacha Mama. Once again I watched
him walk away to join the group and I felt so alone
and sad.
With much struggle and shortness of breath I finally
reached the ley line. I was exhausted and awestruck
at the same time because from the ley line I could see
the other side of Amantani, Lake Titicaca and both temples
at once. It truly was a vortex of great integration.
As my heart raced on, I lay down in a field right on
the ley line to rest and feel. It was springtime in
Peru and farmers had planted small fields of crops in
patches all the way up the mountain. I wondered how
they climbed this far and tended these fields. Already
the shoots of new potatoes where peaking out to grasp
the sun. I toned our mantra and said the prayers we
had said as a group during the trip. The only thing
I had with me was an amulet bag my friend and roommate
Diane had lent me and, also, my water bottle. Diane
has farmland in Iowa and had brought some Iowa corn
to leave as offerings at the various sacred sites we
visited. I was guided to plant two seeds of Iowa corn
on that ley line in the potato field and water them.
I said a blessing and felt somewhat peaceful having
done my own ceremony. Once again, this was a powerful
integration.
As I rested I thought that it was significant that my
whole life I have been absorbed and connected to people.
I am always with my partner Mark, my children, my friends,
family and spiritual groups. It dawned on me how comfortable
I was with people. Then I connected the dots. This was
the second time I had created a painful and scary physical
situation that forced me to move into my fears of abandonment
and aloneness. Just as when I broke my leg, I was learning
how powerful I am when focused on myself. Of course,
being a facilitator on a journey such as this, it was
about the only time I was focused on myself. Understanding
began to seep through me. Ezekiel has always reminded
me that we hide behind our greatest gifts. My heart
was creating a sacred space one way or another. No people
to hide in, only me.
That is the last thing I remembered at that time until
I awoke two hours later in the exact same spot on the
ley line, my heart still racing! I almost felt as if
I had a missing time experience and I couldn't believe
two hours had gone by. Still the group had not returned.
I realized I was very dizzy and disoriented. I felt
so out of body as if I was walking in another timeline
yet I couldn't make conscious sense of anything that
had happened. Another forty-five minutes or so went
by and I had begun to start slowly back down the mountain.
I must say it was a much easier walk downward. I stopped
again at the archway to rest and soon Diane was at my
side hugging me and asking me if I was all right. The
next period of time is somewhat of a daze. I made it
down the mountain to our little home we shared with
locals on the island who fed us and gave us space to
sleep. I lay on my bed as I listened to the group having
breakfast in the courtyard below. Now married, my friends
Steve and Cindy came up to work with me and share their
wedding experience. I was so happy for them and yet
still uncertain of what had transpired on that ley line.
I was still very disoriented. Steve said my heart was
still racing between 160 and 180 beats per minute. It
was around 11:00 am so that meant my heart had continued
it's mad drumming pace for more than 6 ½ hours.
He told me if I had come into his ER in this condition
he would have used the paddles on me to shock my heart
back to a normal rhythm.
We said our good-byes to our hosts and journeyed back
down to the shore where our boat back to Puno awaited
us. Not only was this day Election Day in the United
States but in Peru it was known as Zenith Day. That
is the time when the sun is directly overhead at noon
and casts no shadows. Interestingly just as an eclipse
does! When there are no shadows, all will be revealed.
It was important to Mallku that we would be on the boat
and out on the Lake for the Zenith ceremony at noon.
I lay down in the cabin of the boat and Steve and Cindy
began to do some energy work on me to bring my heart
back into normalcy. Mallku went with the rest of the
group on the top boat deck and did the ceremony above
us.
Soon I began to sob. That grief was to grow and expand
over the next hour and a half. My wailing and tears
became almost uncontrollable as the feelings moved continually
throughout my body while my heart raced onward. At some
point, I noticed Mallku had returned and was sitting
opposite the three of us. I know he was helping and
holding a field for this birthing. Birthing is what
it felt like. Each new wave was like a contraction.
The next day my stomach muscles ached as if I had done
1,000 crunches.
My mid wives (Steve, Cindy and Mallku), just moved
through the whole process with me and eventually I fell
asleep. When I awoke it was after three o'clock and
my heart was once again peaceful. I felt exhausted and
that night I soaked in a hot tub and slept straight
though awaking feeling great the next day as we headed
back to Lima for our return home.
I agreed with Steve, Diane and Cindy that it was time
to go get my heart checked when I returned home. Steve
arranged this for me with a Peruvian cardiologist of
all things. As it turns out my heart is just fine in
the 3D world. In fact, it is very healthy. I suppose
it would have had to have been healthy to race rapidly
for almost 11 hours. I don't know any athletes that
could have matched that pace for that long.
The following night I returned to Iowa and Ezekiel took
me back to the mountain and the missing two hours. I
was hovering above my body as it lay still in the field
on one of the most powerful ley lines on planet earth.
I wondered what had happened to me. My first thought
was that I was having an out-of-body experience but
there was no cord of light attaching me to my body.
So, I wondered if perhaps I had died and I tried to
get back into my body and could not. I was again all
alone. OK, I thought, if I have died…where is the
white light I am suppose to go to? I looked around for
all the people that were suppose to help me cross over.
No one was there. I thought about my husband Mark and
wanted to tell him what was happening to me. In that
instant I found myself in a jet cockpit. Mark was sitting
on the right and another pilot for the company he flies
for was on the left. They traded flying positions. I
tried to get his attention but just like in the movie
Ghost, he did not respond. (He later confirmed that
is exactly where he was at the time I would have been
in the cockpit with him.) I felt so lost. That's the
last thing I remember. I awoke in my body on the lay
line totally disoriented and confused. And, you know
the rest.
So, what's it all about? This has so many facets for
me and I am sure I am still learning even more. It has
been one month since that day. I feel I have many pieces
of the puzzle thanks to all those who have helped me.
· I was again alone to integrate and heal my
own heart. During the Harmonic Concordance II eclipse
on Machu Piccu the week before, I was told I would be
going to two dark places within me and I would have
to work hard to bring that duality into love. I feel
that while crying and feeling the grief on the boat,
I was in a very dark place. I feel I was in duality
fighting between my urge to be with the group and my
personal agreement to hold the field on the ley line
for integration.
· I am a traveler from the future back to change
and heal the past. I agreed to stay on that ley line
during the election to assist in integrating duality.
It is what I do. I work with the earth grids and fields.
My heart made it possible to over ride my ego that wanted
to be at that wedding ceremony. My heart gave me the
opportunity. ( I have a Bush connection through my son
and his Godmother that is very interesting and deep)
· My heart created a rapid drum beat just as
a drummer would do to take himself into other realities.
· As Ezekiel said to me, "Nancy you can't
contain the energy of "Heartlights" in your
work and not have a heart response."
· It seemed almost like a near-death experience
and in some ways it was. I am forever changed. How that
plays out in my life will become obvious over time.
To everyone who was a part of this story, Thank You!
In little and small ways I was pushed, prodded and energized
to create this experience and I feel very blessed. The
heart is truly an amazing thing on all levels of creation
and I am learning more about its abilities daily. My
appreciation and gratitude go especially to Brenda,
Diane, Lynn, Kristen, Cindy, Steve,Shari and Mallku.
May all your travels take you always just where you
are meant to be and may all your experiences reflect
your own Spirit to you always. I would like to conclude
with a prayer that Ezekiel gave to me for this Peru
journey. I now call this the Prayer of Integration.
Blessings to all of you. NJH
Within my own heart,
I bring compassion to all duality I encounter.
In myself, with others and everywhere.
I trust myself.
I invite that which threatens or frightens me
To show me myself
So that I may shift this reality.
Compassion embraces me.
I live with my eyes, ears and heart open.
I am constantly creating myself
As I have always intended to be.
nunc pro tunc… ab itnitio
as if it never was…to the beginning
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